I’ve joined the rest of you

It started while I was waiting for a phone to be answered.

See, I have to call like 30 police agencies at the end of each night for my job. Usually I check Facebook and Twitter at the end of the list, just before I go home. But the other night, I tried something different.

I watched Glee.

I was predisposed to hate Glee. Their “Last Christmas” filled my mouth with bile.

But the show is … likeable. Hey, it’s network television. For the masses. Of course the plot is idiotic. Of course the songs are auto-tuned beyond all personality. Of course the vastly superior black singer will be featured only when the cute white girl can’t hit the big notes.

Still, the cheerleading coach is awesome, and the caricatures of high school types are so over-the-top that they kind of work.

I know because I was one of them.

In the last episode I saw, that white girl is trying to persuade the glee club to be in a yearbook picture so she can have more yearbook pictures than anyone in the history of the school.

Yeah, I was THAT girl in high school.

Oh, I had a 4.0 and reminded people of it almost every day. I was in every activity — and all but fabricated some of them. Those five mornings I made crafts with the church preschool kids so I could skip the sermons? That made me a “Sunday School Teacher” on applications. Other kids actually had me examine their scholarship forms, like an H&R Block guy at tax time, to suggest extra “activities” they could claim.

I was an impossible snot. My friends from high school are clearly some of the most tolerant people ever.

Have I changed? Do I still look for ways to hold myself above others? Do I still cry when I lose at Boggle?

Sometimes. But I don’t take myself quite so seriously anymore.

You learn something talking to 30 police agencies a day: Backstory matters.

They don’t have scholarships for people who stay out of trouble even though their families beat each other with truck parts and hold up gas stations with underwear on their faces. They don’t have yearbook pages for people who graduate even though they had their heads whacked against walls when they were babies.

Those people were the real overachievers. Even if they now watch Glee.

Oh, wait.

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TV, culture, music, reminiscence | Erin Alberty | February 3, 2010 3:26 pm

11 Comments

By Garrett, February 3, 2010 @ 3:59 pm

The reviewer at the AV Club thinks Glee’s schizophrenic side comes from having three creators, each with their own vision of the show. I’d go further; I’d say they’re trying to write one another into a corner. “Oh, you don’t think the show should fully capture the sadness of high-school children in a backwater town trying to find some tiny moment of joyful expression before adulthood? Guess what? (Scribbles on notepad.) FAKE PREGNANCY.”

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By Garrett, February 3, 2010 @ 4:00 pm

Crap! The word “don’t” shouldn’t be there.

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By Garrett, February 3, 2010 @ 4:05 pm

But that’s the shoddy workmanship you’d expect from someone who only got a 3.5 in high school.

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By Jerilyn, February 3, 2010 @ 4:38 pm

Glee makes my teeth hurt and my ears bleed. The ONLY good thing about it is Jane Lynch. But then again, she is great in anything she does. If you like her in Glee, check out the first season of “Party Down” which I think is now on DVD. Hilarious!

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Erin Alberty Reply:
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:52 pm

The cheerleader coach? I will put up with a lot of horrible horribleness to watch her! Also, the piano player is hysterical.

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Garrett Reply:
February 4th, 2010 at 7:55 am
“Party Down”! Watch it! If you have Netflix, you can stream the first season.

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By heidikins, February 3, 2010 @ 8:22 pm

I can’t handle Glee. I watched it for a few weeks and was bored out of my mind. I hope we can still be friends.

Also–while I love the point you make in your last paragraph, I know there are a lot of scholarships and grants and stuff for underprivileged kids. The trick is to get them to find out about them, which is tricky.

xox

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By rassles, February 4, 2010 @ 12:14 pm

Meh, it’s a semi-cute show. Jane Lynch, to echo the sentiments, is a fucking riot. Didn’t leave much of an impression on me.

High school, huh? I wasn’t even important enough to be characterized. I spent a lot of time bathing in jealousy and loathing people. Cool kids were posers, smart kids were cheaters, and everyone else was worthless. I was a real bitch.

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By Gwen Jackson, February 4, 2010 @ 2:16 pm

“They don’t have scholarships for people who stay out of trouble even though their families beat each other with truck parts and hold up gas stations with underwear on their faces.” HA! Oh my God, this made me laugh. Too true, too true.

I’ve seen Glee a couple of times. While I found it amusing, it didn’t quite hold my attention. Not the way it seems to hypnotize everyone else! I do love the cheerleading coach. High school shows have lost their luster for me. I think it’s a sign that I’m old. In any case, the show reminds me of a show called Popular that was on in the late 90s, I think. Very over the top, as you say, caricatures of high school types. But they work. If anyone is going to be over the top in actuality, it’s a high schooler. I never pictured you the way you describe yourself in high school. At least not from your blog. You seem more down to earth and easy going. To this day I don’t know how to describe myself in high school. I definitely was NOT a cool kid. But people always describe me as “different” back then. I read books a lot and got really good grades. But I could hang out with the delinquents as easily as the honor students. I don’t know. I was a weirdo.

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Garrett Reply:
February 5th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
Good eye! Popular was created by Ryan Murphy, who is also one of the creators of Glee.

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By Apryl, February 9, 2010 @ 8:51 pm

haha, Jane Lynch is fantastic and it’s great to see her totally own the part of Sue Sylvester. “I don’t trust a man with curly hair! I can’t help picturing small birds laying sulfurous eggs in there and I find it disgusting!” beautiful evil lines…lol!

Meanwhile…everyone else can just bounce off her wickedly sleek character like the dandelion fluff they are.

speaking of wicked – your writing style is always a genuine but delightfully snarky treat ;)

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