Back-to-school-shopping-impaired

Made for walking

Back-to-school shopping.

It’s here.

For reasons unbeknownst to God or man, I put myself through this every damn fall.

There are trips to Forever 21 and Wet Seal, and then maybe Target for the fancy stuff. I’ll see styles that have been off the runway and selling like hotcakes at red state Wal-Marts for like 4 years, and finally I’ll say, “Maybe I can pull off a tunic?” And I’ll buy some ridiculous tunic from Gadzooks or some other store whose apparel is as durable as a soufflee, probably so you won’t live long with the regret. And the tunic will survive maybe four mornings of schizophrenic pants-pairing to find a magical ensemble that doesn’t make me look like She Who Just Bought Her First Tunic, and then it joins the rest of my clothes in a mountain of failure destined for Goodwill.

Goodwill, unlike Gadzooks, can’t refuse an entire wardrobe of still-tagged clothing just because it happens to be soaked with my tears.

And here we are at Labor Day again. This is my latest folly:

I ordered these last night from Zappos because my boyfriend has a bit of a boot thing, and I kind of love boots, too, but I need a flat pair because I walk a lot for work.

These looked OK.

And then I saw the shaft height: 21 inches.

Dems some boots.

I have no idea what to wear with them.

I image-Googled the make and model — “Gabriella Rocha Bree” — and this was the only picture of an actual person wearing them:

That’s Miley Cyrus.

I’m pretty sure she’s wearing a tunic.

The author gladly accepts any advice you are willing to bestow.

Related posts:

Business casual
The inventor of “stretch” jeans should be shot
My boots have changed me
The dude-ass
I suck at dressing up

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looking "good", shopping | Erin Alberty | September 7, 2009 9:00 am

22 Comments

By Misty Fowler, September 7, 2009 @ 10:19 am

I LOVE the boots! Wear ‘em with a dress, or even a tunic, and strut your stuff! :)

[Reply]
By SKM, September 7, 2009 @ 10:30 am

LMAO … not that I’m a goddess at fashion, but find one of those sweater dress thingies and pair them with your boots.

Then pray that you don’t have a story involving murder investigation that you have to tromp out in the middle of a field to talk to the lead investigator.

[Reply]
Erin Alberty Reply:
September 7th, 2009 at 10:42 am

I’ve kept outdoors shoes in my car ever since the day I searched like 10 different farm fields for an Amish carpenter when I was a news intern in Iowa.

[Reply]
SKM Reply:
September 7th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Yup – one time I got stuck going to a search for an 88 year old Alzheimer’s patient who had wandered off in a cornfield. I’ll never forget the look of disbelief on the sergeant’s face when I strolled up to the crime scene in a flowing purple dress and strappy sandals. I never wore another dress to work again.

[Reply]
By Dale Kemp, September 7, 2009 @ 10:53 am

Wow, that’s Miley Cyrus? She’s kind of hot!!! She sure doesn’t look 16/17 to me.

I’m sorry but I don’t remember what you were talking about now….oh yeah boots!

I was totally gonna say “wear them with a really short skirt” until I scrolled down to Miley and lost my train of thought.

[Reply]
By secret agent woman, September 7, 2009 @ 12:03 pm

I just posted a couple of days ago about boot sI just bought.

Okay, these I see with a short-ish straight skirt, brown tights and a thick sweater. Excpt it looks like Miley is having a little troube keeping them pulled up.

[Reply]
By Miss Becky, September 7, 2009 @ 1:32 pm

well, here is my opinion. wear them with some leggings and a tunic that is swingy, not tight. You know what I mean? that way you will have style AND comfort. well…maybe. hope for the best, but the boots are pretty cool. really.

[Reply]
By kel, September 7, 2009 @ 6:19 pm

I vote you channel your inner Miley. Who wouldn’t want to look that hot? And by hot I mean slutty.

[Reply]
Erin Alberty Reply:
September 7th, 2009 at 11:00 pm

Not sure I have the gams to pull off Miley, but I’m sure slutty is still within reach.

[Reply]
Garrett Reply:
September 8th, 2009 at 5:25 am
Eh. I’ve never gotten the fascination with Miley Cyrus, even from a jailbait perspective. You and your gams will blow her out of the water.

[Reply]
By Summer, September 7, 2009 @ 10:54 pm

Erin I freaking love you! I agree that the boots should be worn with a short sweater dress or tunic and leggings (hey it’s Utah and I’ll take leggings over tights any day come winter!). OR, if you get a pair of super skinny jeans you could totally rock it casual style. Just be sure to wear a looser fitting top.

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By The Mom, September 8, 2009 @ 10:11 am

Whatever you decide to pair with these beauties, please play dress up with me when we visit in a couple weeks.

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By Wenderina, September 8, 2009 @ 11:44 pm

I’m so fashion challenged I can’t even imagine. But I do love the boots and wish that I could find a way to fit them on over my super high instep and very fat calves…I’ve been doomed to short peter pan boots forever. So not stylin’

[Reply]
Erin Alberty Reply:
September 9th, 2009 at 2:13 am

Peter Pan boots! Ha, perfect! I’m the opposite. Skinny shins mean all boots look like snow boots on me. These slouch boots just arrived tonight. They have decent-sized calves, and they’re pretty stretchy. Maybe they’re your answer!

[Reply]
By SoMi's Nilsa, September 11, 2009 @ 9:41 am

I’m pretty sure Heidi Klum wore a similar pair of boots last night on Project Runway. Talk about rocking out the boots – I’m sure you’ll rock them out no matter what you wear with them (if anything at all…). =)

[Reply]
By Brianna, September 18, 2009 @ 10:31 am

I just bought some boots similar to that, but in black. I like to wear them over skinny jeans with a loose-fitting shirt.
See, even Gossip Girl stars do it: http://media.photobucket.com/image/suede%20boots/shopbook/shoes/penn-badgley-living-lively-03-1-1.jpg

My biggest advice: waterproof them! SLC winters are no friend to suede boots.

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